living life yellow.
the ramblings of a girl with endometriosis
Mum, Dad, Grandma... Anyone who is related to me.. PLEASE DON'T READ THIS BLOG!
This is one of the symptoms that is very rarely talked about. Everyone knows that endo causes bad cramps and heavy bleeding, but no one really discusses painful sex.
So the truth is, endo makes sex really f*cking sore. It sucks.
Why does it hurt you ask? Well, imagine that general area had inflamed tissue and was possibly stuck to se other organs, then something comes in there and shakes it all up... painful right? The technical name for painful sex is dyspareunia.
This includes pain with penetration, orgasm and even pain lasting hours after sex (sometimes for a couple days after.)
As you can probably imagine, this makes relationships pretty hard. What guy would want to be with a chick who can't/doesn't want to have sex because it causes her a lot of pain... The good guys do! If a boy/girl/human loves you, and respects you, then sex will not be an issue to them. They will just want what's best for you.
But on the other hand, if you find yourself an awesome human you're probably still going to want to bang at some point. Pain with sex can cause me (and others,) lots of anxiety because I feel like I'm letting my partner down (he says I'm not but I still feel guilty. Sometimes I feel like a less of a women because my body is sabotaging me from being able to do intimate things with my partner.
I find that is just as much a mental thing as it is physical. We have this thing in our brain that controls our "learnt behaviours." A learnt behaviour is something that we didn't already know (natural behaviour = standing on the edge of a cliff and not jumping off) where as a learnt behaviour is when we try something and our bodies react to it (Learnt behaviour = touch a hot stove and burn hand). Pain with sex has become a learnt behaviour to me. I don't want to do something that is going to hurt me! Even just the thought of it makes me very stressed and anxious.
I've been doing a little bit of research into what I can do to make sex more enjoyable again and I came across this ebook on the Endometriosis New Zealand Website, that suggested some things to try. It also has info on everything endo related so it's really worth a read.
One of the things that the ebook suggested is relaxation stretches for your pelvic floor. With endometriosis, and your uterus/ovaries constantly cramping up, things can get pretty tense down there. Stretches will only make things better. I'v been doing the stretches for a week and a half now and I've been finding them quite beneficial in the sense that my general pains have chilled out a bit.
I totally recommend talking to your doctor about this because they tend to know what's up. They didn't have a massive student loan for nothing!
There are so many different things to try and experiment with these days so the options are endless. If something isn't working for you, try something else. If a guy isn't willing to work with you through this, get rid of him. You'll be doing yourself a favour!
PS: Here's some extra info that may help ya'll out <3