living life yellow.
the ramblings of a 21 year old
I've talked about Leo a lot on my blog. In my family he has a nickname of "super Leo," as he's always been there for me, through thick and thin. I've been asked often on how boyfriends can support their girlfriends/sisters/friends when they are going through a tough time with endo, and thought that my one and only would be the best to tell you how.
Here is how to support a girl with endo, a blog written by my boyfriend.
Hello followers of Jasmine's blog. This is Jasmines partner Leo, speaking to you today about the sh*t show I have come to know as endometriosis. I had never heard of the illness until I met Jasmine and it's fair to say that I still don't understand all of it.
I don't think that it's possible to understand it without experiencing it all but there are a few things I've learnt on my quest to not be a terrible boyfriend that hopefully help you out there who, like me, are supporting someone with endo or know someone who is supporting someone, or knows someone who knows someone who is supporting someone. Share the post, share the blog, make Jasmine famous so I can date a celebrity.
Anyway, Endometriosis. What is endo? Answer, no idea. But that's not a great blog post. So from what I gather, endo is when your girlfriend/friend etc. lady bits misbehave and the monthly ritual of punishing themselves for not baking a baby down there and decides to go on a party/rampage throughout the rest of their body resulting in a rather unpleasant time. Much like the old high school parties I unfortunately frequented, it doesn't know when to quit, gets pissy when you try to control it and eventually ends up moving to someones barn in a sad attempt to keep going with someones 15 buck strobe light and bad country and metal music (go country bumpkins!)
It is cruel, unpleasant and we can all agree, not a great time. Supporting someone with this condition varies from person to person. In sure a brothers role to his suffering sister is different than mine, as someone dating someone with it, but some things I do will surely carry over and be useful. So without further ramblings, my guide/list/further ramble on how to support someone with angry uterus jelly.
Step one! Heat packs and hot water bottles.
The essential duo to any budding carer/partner. These humble heat sources help relax affected areas, or start microwave fires. Keep a few handy and get them out when flareups happen. They're a good first step when trying to get things under control.
Step two! Massages!
More partner focus here but if you have that relationship with your sister who am I to judge? I massage Jazz a few times a week because I'm apparently awesome. A good backrub, footrub etc is great for relaxing before bed.
Step three! Find the funny side of things.
As I'm writing this Jazz is also writing a post on her simply hilarious butt problem. While on the internet one day after reading her latest surgery notes, I stumbled upon then greatest discovery of my year. Two words..."Mega colon'... My girlfriend has the single greatest diagnosis I've ever heard. As a very supportive, caring, loving and incredibly humble partner, it is my sad duty to take the piss out of Jasmine as much as is possible for this. I walk a lonely road but someone has to do it. Finding the funny side will stop you getting swamped down and depressed by it all, for both of your sakes.
Step four! Understand and support.
When Jazz started her blog, I was kinda against it. This horrible illness has taken a lot from her and I was worried that she was becoming obsessed with endo. It was all she talked about for a while and I saw this blog as just another way for her to fixate on it. In the end it has been a really good outlet for her and I'm very glad she does it. Sometimes it doesn't matter if you agree with how they cope or not, the point is that's how they cope and if it works, it works.
Step five! Say no, take time off, look after yourself.
Sometimes you just have to say no, go do your own thing, get them to look after themselves and spend time looking after you. If you get burnt out spending all your time and energy on them you will be useless before too long. You have to be healthy and happy to help your loved one be happy.