living life yellow.
the ramblings of a girl with endometriosis
You guys absolutely loved the last blog post Leo wrote (Read it here) so I got him to write another one! This time I asked him to answer some questions I commonly get asked about endometriosis. Leo has quite a unique way of explaining things which always makes me laugh so I thought I would share it with you all!
What is a period?
Not using the gifts your uterus has prepared for you had brought. Tantrum ensues and everything gets thrown out the window. Dishonour on your family, dishonour on your cow.
What is endometriosis?
The baby room your uterus has prepared without your consent is ready, it's all painted and pretty. No one told you that some uterus sucks at DIY and now there's paint and glitter all over the place. Sort your shit out uterus.
What causes endometriosis?
You're clearly just cursed. Thank your ancestors. They clearly screwed it up for the you. (There is currently no known cause for endo but it does tend to run in families)
What are the symptoms of endometriosis?
Pain, misery and general grumpiness. Crazy bad farts and bloating, spontaneous Niagara falls bleeding, painful sexy time. Oh and an overworked boyfriend
What area does endometriosis affect?
Everywhere. You can even get in around your brain, which might explain Jasmine's apparent disability to put the lid back on jars etc. ( I don't have endo on my brain but it is possible to find endo there, although it is extremely rare)
What is an adhesion?
“I'm never letting go jack”, except they're not lazy like Kate Winslet. Your uterus and bowel just became best friends, super glue high five!
What is an autoimmune disease?
When your body decides to hate you as much as the high school kids did. It's like flushing your own head in the toilet or keying your own car.
What is laparoscopic surgery?
When you finally nag the hospital enough that they look inside you just to shut you the hell up, then realise they were wrong and you do actually have endo, not a much rarer issue like "hypersensitivity."
What ways can you treat endometriosis?
Find yo self a man who can do it. You can help too with heat packs for swelling and aches, baths, massages. Just milk that shit. You're having a bad time, if you can convince your partner you need foot rubs and chocolate then go for it